The relationship was probably doomed from the start but I had fantasies people, DREAMS that he could be the ONE!
And there were SIGNS, or at least stuff I thought was a sign, which in retrospect were probably just signs that he wanted to sleep with me again but whatever.
I thought there was something there.
And so I decided to risk it, and tell him how I felt and that I wanted a relationship with him.
And that’s when he told me, “I don’t think of you like that.” And my heart sank. And so I:
- Told my best friend about it.
- Deleted every text, facebook message and email thread from him.
- Deleted a bunch other texts, facebook messages and emails that were cluttering up my inboxes. (It felt so good to declutter!)
- Took a bath and cried some more.
- Listed all the ways we weren’t compatible in the first place (Picky eater! Fast walker! Habs fan! Ugh!)
- Purchased an outrageously expensive piece of art I’d been in love with for a month from a local gallery.
- Seriously contemplated writing a “12 ways he can go fuck himself” blog post and thought better of it.
- Made a lasagna and ate half of it.
- Mentally listed all the other good things in my life (stellar friends, good job, wonderful family, excellent health, incredible talent, humility, etc.)
- Put on a sexy negligee, looked at myself in the mirror and thought “damn girl, you’re still hot… even after eating half a lasagna!”
- Went to bed, put in my night guard and thought “who’s shexy now?”
And then I laughed and thanked him.
He helped me figure out what I want. And he cleared the way for someone better.